WHAt ???

Welcome to the news , lets look at the main headlines

A massive project is underway in boakaadhoo to build a library to aid the students in their studies. Excited students are already rushing to the library to read books. One 5th grade student said " i'm so glad we finally got a library, now i can go there to look at diagrams of the female reproductive system ,rip of those pages and take them home." when asked his name he kicked the news reporter in the balls and ran away.

As for other news a man in male died yesterday after sustaining heavy damages to his head. The man is believed to have tripped on a banana to fall on a trampoline and flew 5m to land on top of an angry woman who clobbered him to death (with a roshi dhamaaa thingy). The woman has also sued the dead guy for sexual harassment.

In international news

A man called "bagootha babagunda" has called for piss all over the world and urged world leaders to strip themselves of the weapons of mass distraction and their clothes (which will not be pleasant) and to make love (which will be even worse).

Sports headlines

A Football match was played between two BIG teams today at the Superficial beach (and by BIG we mean that the players are BIG and fat). The match was very exciting for a minute until all the players got tired and fainted on the pitch. One of the players is believed to have died after getting a fart attack.

Lets look at Business today

Eggs sold for 2 RF
Tomato for 3 RF
Chicken 25 RF
coackroach FREE
Water melon very expensive
Milk (depends on what type you want human or cow)
Stripper 300 RF