The Return of Maumoon

Hundreds of Thousands of supporters gathered in the republican square to welcome the old president maumoon abdul gayyoom who made a visit to singapore for a get together party with bill clinton. During the party they discussed major global issues such as global warming and sex which happens to be bill clintons favourite topic during and after his days in the white House.

Secuirity were in tights as gayyoom was hugged ,fondled and sexually harassed by the gathered crowd. He eventually managed to make it to the car after loosing several of his body parts to the screaming women. Speaking to what-a-noos a woman called Maumoona said "This large crowd here full of women proves that maumoon is sexier than anni, Anni can wear a yellow tie but maumoon is the only leader man enough to wear a pink tie"

Theif flee after being interrupted while trying to steal a woman's bra

A Theif fled the scene after he was caught trying to steal the bra from a 19 year old women in the artifical beach area.Eye witnesses claim that he was secretly trying to steal the bra while she was unaware and there is no chance that she was just a prostitute.Police say that they cannot show pictures of the man as his face is too ugly for TV, but they did show a picture of the women on TV (taken from thebalaabodu.com).An eye witness said "at first i thought a man was scratching her back but i got suspicous when she started screaming in pain." Police say that the incident has been reported and they have sent a team to investigate the woman's bra for more evidence.

Norton Antivirus For Humans

symantec has introduced a new software program to help humans fight against viruses. The software is said to work against all viruses in existence. In order to use the software you have to connect yourself to the computer through a wire that goes into your anus. The wire sends a small electric impulse (5000 V) of electricity through your body, and if you're still lucky to be alive after all that the virus will be gone and you will be cured.Just like the computer version the human version of the software makes you slow and unresponsive. Some of the other side effects of the software include death, paralysis, heart attacks,chronic farting and spikey hair.

Workshop to raise awareness on STD's

A workshop has been held in CHSE to give the students information about sexually transmitted diseases. The students noted that the workshop was very helpful and entertaining. One student said " i never knew you could do that with your thing, i have to try that sometime". A discussion also took place during the workshop and students discussed the issue which is considered to be taboo in Maldives.

After the workshop ended the next day 14 students very absent due to sexually transmitted diseases and 1 of them had HIV aids. Two weeks later 40 students got syphilis, 9 got HIV aids and one very stupid student lost his manhood. The school considers the workshop to be very successful and they are now planning to have a new workshop on drugs